A Helpful Reminder
“Be careful about having relationships with people with no emotional intelligence. They will never understand you, they will personalise everything, and you will never be seen and heard. Be careful about having relationships with people who can’t regulate their emotions you will always be at the mercy of their rages, and bad moods. Be careful about having relationships with people with no self awareness, they have no idea how their behaviour affects the people around them, so it’s a matter of time before you get hurt. Be careful about having relationships with people without empathy, they will never see or care about how you feel. If no one has ever told you, I am telling you now. Look for people in your life with emotional intelligence, self awareness, empathy and the ability to regulate their emotions or you will be at the mercy of their dysfunction and pay the price for their immaturity and lack of growth.”
— Maria Consiglio
I like this quote because it’s helpful and truthful.
I was recently triggered by a female influencer from the conscious relating sector. Varying levels of upset reared their heads.
I generally work with the concept that things only have impact because it’s relevant to me.
The post described certain types of women to be “low value”.
That term is still a trigger because it’s a truth that I hold about myself, that I am of no worth and can’t be loved. This distortion of the absolute truth, “I am That”, is part of my mental health disability. I often have to check in on myself and the actual reality to ensure I’m living truthfully, safely and healthily. This takes great effort on my part and even greater effort on the part of my therapists and the very few friends and family members I hold close.
Seeing a “conscious spiritual entrepreneur” present content that derails this hard work is upsetting. Even more upsetting is the feedback from the influencer and her male supporters that my response is based on hate, jealousy and projection.
Low Self-Worth Is Not Low Value
It still baffles me how the female body can be exploited for fame and wealth with a violent psychological assault on those who struggle with neurodivergent and trauma response behaviours.
No really qualified professional relationship, sex or mental health practitioner would say those things.
Be careful of the content consumed and influencers followed because I am aware of people misrepresenting themselves in order to get a larger following and this is ethically corrupt.
So, much of the “low value” behaviour described by this influencer are also clear trauma responses and indicative of emotional or personality disorders etc. More often than not, these individuals carry feelings of low self-worth and this lends to the concept of “low value”. It better describes the individual’s feelings of low self-value and how that plays out in the world, as opposed to indicating the potential, value or worth of the human.
Influencers need to be careful about this content, especially where it is targeted at men in a sneaky marketing way that we understand now to be dishonest and manipulative.
Discernment Without Dehumanising
The idea that we should avoid individuals who are different to us is also something that needs doing away with.
How do all of y’all intend on being in the world?
Planning on relocating to another planetary system altogether?
Because to date I have not met one person who is perfect.
Not one.
I like this quote because it highlights important aspects of unstable and difficult relationships that we have with romantic interests, spouses, parents, siblings, children, colleagues etc.
Be aware of unstable connections. Be cautious when engaging with individuals who struggle with emotional regulation and self-awareness, especially where it concerns taking accountability.
Commitment Matters
Nobody is perfect.
We all fail to see ourselves and one another at times.
We all have wobbles.
I usually have a wobble for about a week every couple of months around my period. Does that make me worthless? Low value? Toxic? Someone to stay clear of?
Of course not.
What matters isn’t whether we struggle. What matters is whether we are willing to recognise our struggles, take responsibility where we can, and remain committed to our recovery, our relationships and our personal growth.
There is a world of difference between someone who occasionally loses their footing and someone who has no interest in reflecting, growing or taking accountability.
I value honesty. Openness. Willingness. Accountability. Compassion. A sincere desire to become better. These qualities matter far more to me than the impossible pursuit of perfection.
Perhaps we all need to stop chasing perfection.
Perfection is a human invention.
Growth, humility and grace feel far closer to God.
With love . . .
Karmic Rebelle ©
(Disrupt Karma. Restore Dharma)