This piece is difficult to write, and it may be difficult to read — but it’s necessary.
It’s not just my story. It’s a mirror of what happens when trauma, disability, and systemic ignorance collide.
When I reported being raped, my diagnosis — Borderline Personality Disorder — was used against me by the very people who were meant to protect me.
The police made assumptions based on stigma, not fact. They dismissed my trauma because of a label.
They let a rapist walk free. And I was left to survive the consequences.
This is not just about BPD. It’s about what happens when mental health diagnoses become weapons — when neurodivergent people are disbelieved, discarded, and denied justice.
It’s about truth. And the cost of being seen as “too complicated” to protect.
If you’re someone who lives with BPD, ADHD, ASD, or CPTSD — I see you. If you’ve ever been disbelieved or dismissed because of your diagnosis — this is for you.
This is part of my story. And it is told in my voice, on my terms. Please read with care.
When the police interviewed me about the rape, one reason they didn’t believe me was my diagnosis: BPD. They had just googled the disability and made an ignorant, ill-informed judgment that was both discriminatory and harmful. They decided BPD meant I was inherently manipulative — a compulsive liar by default.
This is not the case with BPD. Compulsive lying is not a diagnostic criterion. When being diagnosed by medical professionals, this is what they actually look at:
Frantic Efforts to Avoid Abandonment
Individuals with BPD have a deep-seated fear of real or imagined abandonment, and they will go to great lengths to prevent it. It makes no sense to report a false rape if you’re terrified of being left alone. Reporting someone would mean losing them — not something someone with BPD seeks.
Also, about going through with the non-molestation order against my ex, leaving my husband, and finally filing for divorce — it wouldn’t make sense to lie about those things if it meant being alone in the end. The mistakes I made because of my disability were to stay in toxic and abusive relationships and not to report rape immediately. The police didn’t consider this.
Unstable and Intense Relationships
Highs and lows are a hallmark of BPD relationships. It still doesn’t equate to lying or making rape up.
Identity Disturbance
A persistent instability in self-image or sense of self is a hallmark of BPD. This characteristic is partly what makes it so easy for others to manipulate, coerce, and take advantage of me. This vulnerability is exactly why BPD qualifies as a disability under the Equality Act — because it makes people like me easier to manipulate and abuse. In my case, the reason I have an unstable sense of self is because of child sex abuse, verbal abuse, coercion, neglect, and narcissistic abuse over a lifetime.
Impulsivity
This must manifest in at least two areas and can include things like overspending, substance abuse, binge eating, and self-harm. At the time of the interview, I was heavily reliant on xxxx to help cope with emotions. xxxx helps to suppress and keep intense feelings at bay so I don’t have to experience or feel them.
They thought I was a heroin and crack user — because some arseholes from Isle of Dogs / Canary Wharf made a false report about me. And because the Hackney Sikh Rapist was trafficking heroin or opium — something I suspected and told the police — they assumed I was a user too.
They wouldn’t believe me when I said I’d never touched it. I’m incredibly triggered by my neighbours, especially because of this kind of false reporting — I was always kind and helpful, and insidious jealousy and feelings of superiority caused significant harm to me. It prevented me from getting the help and protection I needed, and in turn, I lost more years of my life.
And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
Recurrent Suicidal Behaviour, Gestures, Threats, or Self-Mutilation
This is in response to perceived abandonment and the experience of emotional distress.
Affective Instability
The experience of frequent, rapid, and intense shifts in mood. These shifts can involve extreme emotions like anger, anxiety, or depression, and the intensity can be out of proportion to the situation. It’s difficult for me to self-regulate. Although I would argue that my anger is not always disproportionate to the problem — especially when it concerns persistent neglect on the part of the system.
Chronic Feelings of Emptiness
I don’t experience this at all.
Inappropriate, Intense Anger or Difficulty Controlling Anger
Yes, it happens. But it’s not a crime. It’s not a reason to disbelieve rape disclosures.
Transient Paranoid Ideation or Severe Dissociative Symptoms
As I’ve experienced more traumatic events repeatedly from childhood through to adulthood, I’ve experienced more moments of dissociation and a growing sense that others may harm me.
This is a tricky one because those feelings often manifest in reality, so it’s sometimes difficult to know what’s true and what’s not. Again, this makes me vulnerable to exploitation and further harm because I can be gaslit — which increases feelings of suspicion and dissociation.
So, as you can see, nowhere does it say that people with BPD are manipulative liars who use heroin, prostitute themselves, and lie about rape to get a free house from the council. That’s not a personality disorder — that’s a toxic myth.
Also, none of this includes characteristics from other neurodivergent conditions like ADHD, ASD, or complex PTSD.
From childhood, I found it challenging to lie. This is a marked characteristic of my personality, and I have many people to vouch for me on that point — from schoolteachers to parents and other family members.
So, in conclusion: the police dramatically failed me, and the result was significant harm and loss of life. A rapist and trafficker is still out there — free — after doing it before me, to me, and probably again after me.
So if you’re with someone who has BPD and compulsively lies? Sorry you got a shitty person — but that isn’t me.
I don’t lie. I did get raped. By that Sikh-Not-Sikh in Hackney.
The failure of the police to protect me then led me into the arms of another predator — again in the Sikh community — this time one posing as a good Satsangi and healer. And it’s impacted me dramatically.
The system has failed me and continues to fail people like me.
This doesn’t even begin to cover the diagnostic criteria and lived reality of ADHD, ASD, or complex PTSD. But I carry all of it. And I’m still here.
With love.
Karmic Rebelle