Category: Mental Health

In our fast-paced, often stressful lives, finding ways to calm the mind and body can be essential for mental and physical well-being. One of the most potent ways to do this is by stimulating the vagus nerve, a vital part of the body’s parasympathetic nervous system. This nerve helps regulate critical functions like heart rate, digestion, and mood. Resetting or stimulating the vagus nerve can promote relaxation, reduce anxiety, and improve overall well-being.

What is the Vagus Nerve?

The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve, running from the brainstem through the neck, chest, and abdomen. It’s like a communication superhighway between the brain and various organs, including the heart and digestive system. When the vagus nerve is activated, it helps shift the body from the “fight or flight” state into the “rest and digest” mode, which promotes relaxation and healing.

How to Stimulate the Vagus Nerve

Several techniques can help activate the vagus nerve, many of which are simple and can be incorporated into your daily routine. These techniques help reset your nervous system, providing immediate and long-term benefits for your mental and physical health.

1. Neck Massage

Massaging the sides of your neck where the vagus nerve runs can help stimulate relaxation. Use your fingers to apply light circular motions from below the ear down the neck. This promotes calm by activating the parasympathetic nervous system.

2. Ear Massage

The vagus nerve has connections in your ear, especially the tragus (the small cartilage bump near the ear canal). You can gently massage this area for a minute or two to stimulate the nerve and ease tension. You can incorporate this into your morning or evening routine for regular relief.

3. Suboccipital Massage

The vagus nerve exits the brainstem at the base of the skull. Massaging this area with gentle pressure can help relax the muscles and improve nerve flow. This technique can be particularly helpful if you have tension in your neck or suffer from headaches.

4. Diaphragm Release

Deep breathing is a well-known way to stimulate the vagus nerve, but you can take it further with a diaphragm release massage. Applying gentle pressure under your ribcage while you breathe deeply can activate the nerve and promote a sense of calm throughout the body.

5. Jaw and Throat Massage

The vagus nerve also passes through muscles around the jaw and throat. A gentle massage here can relieve tension and support the nerve’s calming functions. Use circular motions along your jawline and throat to stimulate the nerve and ease tightness.

Conclusion

Stimulating the vagus nerve is a natural and effective way to support mental health and reduce anxiety. Techniques like neck, ear, and diaphragm massages are simple yet powerful ways to reset your nervous system. Integrating these practices into your daily routine creates space for healing, calm, and restoration.

Remember to approach these massages with mindfulness, breathing slowly and deeply as you practice. Your body and mind will thank you!

With love.

Karmic Rebelle

Complaining, when done constructively and mindfully, can have several benefits. Here’s how complaining can serve a positive purpose:

1. Problem-Solving

• The government sets spending limits for disability benefits.
• It encourages critical thinking about what’s wrong and how it can be fixed.

2. Emotional Release

• Venting frustrations can act as a pressure valve, helping to release pent-up emotions and reduce stress.
• It can prevent bottling up feelings, which might lead to more significant emotional or physical health issues.

3. Social Connection

• Sharing grievances with someone can foster a sense of camaraderie and validation, especially if they’ve experienced similar challenges.
• It strengthens bonds through empathy and mutual understanding.

4. Advocacy and Change

• Complaining to the proper authorities or individuals can lead to meaningful change, whether in personal relationships, workplace environments, or service standards.
• It can hold systems or individuals accountable for poor performance or behaviour.

5. Self-Awareness

• Reflecting on complaints can reveal personal values, boundaries, and expectations.
• It helps identify patterns of dissatisfaction, providing insight into what truly matters to you.

6. Stress Reduction (in Moderation)

• Articulating frustrations can shift the focus from ruminating internally to external expression, reducing the emotional weight of the issue.
• It serves as a coping mechanism to process difficult emotions.

7. Empowerment

• Complaining can empower individuals by asserting their needs or rights, particularly when they feel mistreated or overlooked.
• It fosters a sense of agency and self-advocacy.

Guidelines for Constructive Complaining:

• Be Specific: Focus on the issue, not the person, and clearly articulate what’s bothering you.
• Seek Solutions: Frame complaints to invite resolution or improvement.
• Time and Place: Choose an appropriate setting and audience to ensure the complaint is productive and well-received.
• Limit Frequency: Avoid chronic complaining, leading to negativity and alienating others.

When approached thoughtfully, complaining can catalyse growth, understanding, and improvement.

With love.

Karmic Rebelle

Often viewed negatively, anger can have several benefits when managed constructively. Here’s how anger can serve a positive purpose:

1. Motivates Change and Action

• Anger can be a powerful motivator to address injustices or problems.
• It can drive individuals to act by standing up for themselves or advocating for others.

2. Signals Boundaries

• Feeling angry often indicates a boundary has been crossed or a value violated.
• Recognising and expressing anger helps reinforce personal limits and assert needs.

3. Enhances Focus and Determination

• The energy from anger can improve focus and determination to solve problems or achieve goals.
• It can provide the drive to overcome obstacles and persist in challenging situations.

4. Facilitates Honest Communication

• Anger can bring underlying issues to the surface, encouraging honest and direct communication.
• When expressed constructively, it fosters clarity and understanding in relationships.

5. Promotes Self-Reflection

• Reflecting on why you feel angry can increase self-awareness about your triggers, values, and unmet needs.
• It encourages introspection and emotional growth.

6. Encourages Social Change

• Throughout history, anger over injustices has fueled movements for social and political change (e.g., civil rights and gender equality).
• It can unite people against shared issues and inspire collective action.

7. Enhances Problem-Solving

• Anger highlights areas of dissatisfaction, prompting creative or practical solutions.
• It drives people to confront problems head-on rather than avoid them.

8. Releases Pent-Up Energy

• Expressing anger healthily (e.g., through exercise, art, or conversation) helps release stress and tension.
• This prevents the buildup of frustration that could lead to burnout or passive-aggressive behaviour.

9. Strengthens Relationships

• Addressing anger openly can improve trust and intimacy in relationships by showing vulnerability and honesty.
• Constructive conflict resolution can deepen connections and mutual understanding.

10. Protects Against Apathy

• Anger is often a sign that you care deeply about something or someone.
• It combats apathy and shows that certain situations, people, or principles matter to you.

How to Harness Anger Constructively:

• Pause and Reflect: Take a moment to process your feelings before reacting impulsively.
• Channel It Productively: Use anger as fuel for positive actions, such as problem-solving or advocacy.
• Communicate Effectively: Express anger in an assertive, not aggressive way.
• Use Physical Outlets: Exercise, deep breathing, or creative activities can help release excess energy.
• Seek Perspective: Reflect on the source of your anger and whether it aligns with your values and goals.

When understood and managed well, anger can be a source of strength, clarity, and growth, leading to healthier relationships, personal empowerment, and meaningful change.

With love.

Karmic Rebelle

Emotions are the invisible threads that weave our human experience. Yet, they are rarely as straightforward as we’d like to believe. The image above profoundly explores emotions and their intersections, reminding us that our feelings are often a tapestry of contrasts and connections. Let’s examine the layers of meaning behind these emotional blends and how they can guide us toward a more soulful, balanced mind.

Understanding Emotional Overlaps

Life rarely hands us pure emotions. Instead, we experience hybrids—feelings that coexist and influence each other. The diagram shows us how joy and sadness can intertwine to create bittersweetness, a poignant reminder of the complexity of happiness and sorrow. Similarly, anxiety and excitement merge into anticipation, teaching us that nervous energy often precedes moments of hope and opportunity.

By acknowledging these emotional overlaps, we gain the power to name our feelings more precisely, understanding that life isn’t black and white but a spectrum of colourful, intersecting experiences.

Growth in Emotional Contrasts

Many of the pairings depicted in the chart represent stark contrasts. Anger balances compassion in assertiveness, and pride tempers humility to achieve balance. These juxtapositions show us that growth often arises from managing tension between opposites. When anger gives way to compassion, it transforms into productive assertiveness rather than destructive aggression.

For those navigating moments of grief, the interplay between love and loss highlights how deeply intertwined they are. Grief is the echo of love—proof that our connections matter and that vulnerability is a strength.

Resilience Through Paradox

Resilience, as shown in the intersection of peace and uncertainty, offers a particularly striking insight. Finding peace amid ambiguity becomes a superpower in a world where change is constant. Accepting uncertainty as part of life enables us to move forward with grace rather than fear.

Similarly, redemption comes from guilt and forgiveness. By facing the discomfort of guilt and pairing it with the courage to forgive ourselves or others, we unlock the transformative potential of healing and growth.

Embracing the Emotional Journey

One of the most powerful messages of this visual is the idea that every emotion plays a role in our personal evolution. Fatigue paired with ambition warns us of burnout, encouraging us to seek balance. Gratitude and envy merge into contentment, revealing how comparison can become a tool for appreciation when shifted through the lens of gratitude.

We can approach life with a greater sense of curiosity and compassion by seeing our emotions as tools and guides rather than obstacles.

Practical Steps for Emotional Awareness

To integrate these insights into your life:

• Name Your Emotions: Name both sides of the emotional spectrum when you feel conflicted. For example, “I feel both anxious and excited about this new opportunity.”
• Pause and Reflect: Explore the “why” behind these emotions. What are they telling you about your needs, desires, or fears?
• Practice Self-Compassion: Allow yourself the space to experience and process mixed emotions without judgment.

The truth about emotions is that they are not just fleeting feelings but intricate maps of our inner selves. By navigating the intersections of joy and sadness, peace and uncertainty, or love and loss, we unlock deeper self-awareness and a soulful approach to life.

Let this diagram be a guide, a reminder that within every emotional challenge lies an opportunity for growth and balance. In embracing the full spectrum of our feelings, we embrace the fullness of life itself.

With love.

Karmic Rebelle

Psychiatric Service Dogs (PSDs) offer significant mental health benefits, supported by scientific research. Here’s how PSDs can aid individuals:

1. Reduction of Stress and Anxiety

Interacting with a service dog has been shown to lower cortisol levels, the body’s primary stress hormone. A study by Purdue University found that individuals with a service dog exhibited significantly better psychosocial health, including improved emotional, social, and work or school functioning.

2. Enhancement of Emotional Well-being

PSDs can improve psychological well-being, emotional functioning, self-esteem, and vitality. Research indicates that having an assistance dog has significant positive effects on these aspects of mental health.

3. Prevention of Panic Attacks and Dissociation

Service dogs trained to recognize signs of distress can intervene to prevent the escalation of panic attacks. They provide grounding techniques and behavioural interruption, helping individuals manage symptoms more effectively.

4. Improvement in Daily Functioning

PSDs assist in structuring daily activities by providing external cues, which can improve focus and reduce avoidance behaviours. This support is particularly beneficial for individuals experiencing executive dysfunction.

5. Alternative to ADHD medication

Psychiatric service dogs provide external structure and prompts that improve executive function, time management, and routine consistency, making them a viable alternative for individuals who struggle with or prefer not to take ADHD medication.

Legal Recognition in the UK

In the United Kingdom, assistance dogs, including psychiatric assistance dogs, are protected under the Equality Act 2010. They are legally recognized as auxiliary aids, and it is unlawful to discriminate against individuals using them.

Summary of Benefits

• Reduces cortisol levels and anxiety, preventing breakdowns.
• Enhances emotional well-being naturally.
• Prevents panic attacks and dissociation more effectively than medication.
• Provides real-time symptom regulation without side effects.
• Offers a legally protected disability accommodation under UK law.

By offering these benefits, PSDs serve as a valuable, medically recognized aid for individuals managing mental health conditions.

Sources & Further Reading

1. Reduction of Stress and Anxiety (Cortisol Regulation)
   Study: Service Dogs Benefit the Well-being of Their Handlers
   Source: Purdue University College of Veterinary Medicine
   Findings: Service dog handlers exhibited significantly lower cortisol levels and improved psychosocial health.
   Link: Purdue University Study
2. Enhancement of Emotional Well-being (Oxytocin Increase)
   Study: The Impact of Assistance Dogs on Psychological Well-Being
   Source: Frontiers in Veterinary Science (2020)
   Findings: Interacting with a service dog leads to increased oxytocin levels, improving emotional bonding and reducing stress.
   Link: Frontiers in Veterinary Science
3. Prevention of Panic Attacks and Dissociation
   Study: Service Dogs Helping People with PTSD
   Source: American Psychiatric Association
   Findings: Service dogs trained to recognize distress cues help prevent panic attacks and dissociation.
   Link: American Psychiatric Association
4. Improvement in Executive Function and Daily Life
   Study: The Effects of Assistance Dogs on Executive Function and Daily Life
   Source: National Institutes of Health (NIH)
   Findings: Psychiatric service dogs provide external cues that improve focus, daily routine management, and executive function for individuals with PTSD and ADHD.
   Link: NIH Study
5. Service Dogs as an Alternative to Psychiatric Medication
   Study: The Role of Psychiatric Service Dogs in Mental Health Treatment
   Source: BMC Psychiatry (2019)
   Findings: 72% of psychiatric service dog handlers reported reducing or eliminating psychiatric medications due to their dog’s effectiveness.
   Link: BMC Psychiatry Study
6. PSDs as an Alternative to ADHD Medication
   Study: Service Dogs as External Motivators for Executive Functioning in PTSD and ADHD
   Source: Applied Animal Behaviour Science (2020)
   Link: Applied Animal Behaviour Science
7. Legal Recognition of PSDs in the UK
   Source: Psychiatric Service Dog Association (UK)
   Findings: Psychiatric assistance dogs are recognized under the Equality Act 2010 as auxiliary aids, meaning it is unlawful to discriminate against individuals using them.
   Link: PSD Association UK

With love.

Karmic Rebelle

For many people, the difference between an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) and a Psychiatric Service Dog (PSD) is unclear. Some believe that because my service dog, Radha, provides emotional support, she must be an ESA rather than a PSD. However, this is a misconception—and a damaging one—because it overlooks the crucial role that a psychiatric service dog plays in Simple disabilities like mine.

As someone diagnosed with BPD, ADHD, CPTSD, anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation, my daily life is deeply affected by my mental health. My ability to function, navigate the world, and stay safe is significantly improved by Radha—not just because of her presence but because of the specific trained tasks she performs. This is what makes her an assistance dog, not an ESA.

What’s the Difference Between an ESA and a PSD?

Emotional Support Animal (ESA):

• Provides comfort, companionship, and emotional stability.
• Requires no specific training beyond basic obedience.
• Not legally recognized as an assistance animal under UK law.
• No public access rights—ESAs can be refused entry to businesses, transport, and housing.

Psychiatric Service Dog (PSD):

• Task-trained to perform specific actions that mitigate psychiatric disabilities.
• Recognized as an assistance dog under the Equality Act 2010 in the UK.
• Has full public access rights (like guide dogs for the blind).
• Helps an individual function safely and independently in ways that an ESA cannot.

How My Psychiatric Service Dog, Radha, Helps Me

People often assume that Radha is just a source of comfort and companionship—which she is—but that alone is not what makes her a PSD. What defines her as a service dog is her trained ability to mitigate my disabilities.

Examples of Radha’s Trained Tasks:

• Interrupting dissociation & panic attacks: When I start to dissociate or panic, Radha nudges or applies deep pressure therapy to bring me back to the present.
• Blocking & creating space in crowds: Large crowds can be overwhelming and triggering. Radha stands in front or behind me to create a buffer, reducing distress and preventing sensory overload.
• Alerting me before I become overwhelmed: Radha notices changes in my breathing, heart rate, and body language before I consciously recognize distress and intervenes before a full breakdown occurs.
• Guiding me to the restroom when I am in pain: I often get bouts of debilitating physical pain in public, and Radha leads me to the ladies’ restroom on cue.
• Waking me from nightmares & night terrors: My PTSD causes intense nightmares and night terrors. Radha nudges me awake and provides grounding pressure to help me return to reality.
• Reminding me to eat: I struggle with executive function due to ADHD. I also have persistent low moods due to CPTSD and Depression. Radha is trained to nudge the oven door on cue and interrupt harmful patterns when I forget basic self-care.
• Preventing self-harm behaviors: If I engage in self-harming behaviors due to emotional distress, Radha interrupts them by pawing, licking, or nudging me away.

These tasks are not just comfort-based—they are essential for my safety, stability, and ability to function in daily life. An ESA could not perform these functions because they are not trained for them.

Why This Distinction Matters

The misconception that “all dogs provide emotional support” is dangerous because it undermines the legitimacy of psychiatric service dogs. It leads to situations where people with PSDs—like myself—face discrimination, denial of access, or accusations of fraud for simply existing with our dogs in public spaces.

Unlike an ESA, Radha has public access rights under the Equality Act 2010. This means she must be allowed in shops, public transport, restaurants, and other public areas. However, because mental health disabilities are invisible, many people assume she is “just an emotional support dog” and that I have no right to bring her into these spaces.

Final Thoughts

Psychiatric Service Dogs are working animals, just like guide dogs for the blind. The fact that they provide emotional support does not mean they are only providing comfort. My PSD helps me function, stay safe, and manage my disabilities in ways that an ESA never could.

Mental health matters, and so do psychiatric service dogs. It’s time people understood that.

Radha is not an ESA. She is my lifeline.

What Can You Do?

• Educate yourself and others about the difference between ESAs and PSDs.
• Respect the legal rights of psychiatric service dogs and their handlers.
• Speak up when you see discrimination against service dog teams.

Mental health matters, and so do psychiatric service dogs. It’s time people understood that.

With love.

Karmic Rebelle

Narcissists follow a distinct pattern of behaviour in relationships, cycling through three main stages:

• Idealisation
• Devaluation
• Discard

Idealisation: The Hook

In this phase, they shower you with attention—love-bombing, playing the caring friend or partner, listening intently, offering help, and even bringing gifts. This is all a calculated effort to make you trust them.

Devaluation: The Shift

Once they feel secure in your attachment, they begin to break you down. It starts subtly—backhanded compliments, triangulation, boundary violations. In extreme cases, they gaslight or confabulate to maintain control and uphold the illusion they created in the idealisation phase.

Discard: The Final Blow

They only discard you when they have secured new supply. The discard isn’t just abandonment—it’s another method of control, reinforcing your perceived worthlessness. But they might return, restarting the cycle if they think you can still be useful to them.

A Personal Experience

Recently, an old friend re-entered my life, illustrating this cycle firsthand. His initial reappearance seemed heroic—offering unsolicited financial help, food, and emotional support. He positioned himself as a reliable figure, making it clear that I could always turn to him.

I eventually asked for a small loan to print documents. When I attempted to repay him, he resisted, instead steering me toward buying weed—fully aware I was trying to quit. This was his way of fostering dependence, ensuring I would continue to need him.

When I later asked for help moving furniture, we were still in the idealisation phase—he was generous, attentive, and full of surprises. But subtle devaluation had already begun: small manipulations, dismissive remarks, and calculated emotional pushes.

The real shift came when I didn’t reciprocate what he truly wanted—attention, validation, sex, a relationship. That’s when he escalated.

The Devaluation: A Clearer Picture

His behaviour changed. He disrespected my belongings, invaded my personal space, and became impatient and rude. He weaponised my vulnerabilities—turning past trauma I had confided in him into ammunition. When he realised these tactics weren’t working, he backtracked with apologies—another manipulation.

Then came the triangulation:

“My gorgeous ex-girlfriend, who earns £80,000 a year, still contacts me.”

It was a weak attempt to incite jealousy, to make me feel inadequate. Meanwhile, he played the victim—lonely, rejected, lacking companionship—strategically feeding my empathy to pull me in deeper.

Then came the final manipulation: control through my vulnerabilities. He dangled xxxx in front of me, offering to give me large amounts, then subtly shifting the terms—he would control access to it. When I didn’t bite, he intensified the mind games: deliberately smoking near me, constantly reminding me of the xxxx he had.

Breaking the Cycle

Recognising the pattern, I shut it down. I called out the manipulation, and when he couldn’t twist reality to fit his self-image, he resorted to confabulation—rewriting the story to paint himself as the victim. I knew where this was heading—towards harm I couldn’t afford—so I cut him off completely.

Shifting My Own Narrative

When I was first told my ex-partner might be a covert narcissist or sociopath, I rejected the idea. I must be the narcissist, I thought. That belief was ingrained in me—fed by childhood conditioning and reinforced by an abusive marriage.

From a young age, shame was projected onto me. I grew up believing I was too much, my emotions were wrong, my presence was intrusive. I carried burdens that weren’t mine. I blocked out nearly four decades of traumatic incidents, holding onto fragmented memories that distorted the truth.

The result? Complex PTSD, a permanently dysregulated nervous system, and a storm of neurodivergence intertwined with borderline personality disorder.

This led me to repeat abusive patterns—attracting the same types of relationships over and over. I once thought awareness alone could protect me. Now, I know better. You cannot outsmart these people.

• They exist to conquer.
• You are never truly safe with them.
• If you escape, you will be damaged—emotionally, mentally, physically.

The only way to win is to walk away.

Rewriting the Script

Narcissists will always launch a smear campaign when you leave. They need to confabulate to maintain their version of reality. Others may believe them, and you must learn to accept that.

But the most important thing? Rewriting your own story.

For years, I believed I was the problem—that I was toxic, unlovable, a narcissist. My neurodivergence made me an easy scapegoat. Like so many others with ADHD or autism, I spent my life defending myself while enduring subtle abuse and exclusion.

I recently unearthed a deeply buried traumatic memory. Alongside other forgotten incidents from my childhood, it completely changed the narrative I had lived for years. I was never the aggressor, the abuser, the dirty, shameful one.

• I was a victim.
• Those things should never have happened.
• The story I told myself about myself was not true.

But my survival mechanisms—my ways of coping—became toxic. In protecting myself, I hurt others. In defending my own wounds, I lived a false narrative.

The Aftermath

Today, I write this with a foggy mind, a dysregulated nervous system, and a heavy heart.

• I wish things had been different.
• I wish I could reclaim my youth.
• I wish someone would love and protect me.

But I must do that for myself. Healing takes time—perhaps a lifetime.

I struggle with relationships. Any kind. Social interactions—even online—make me anxious. I don’t trust people. I barely trust myself. My only constant is Radha, my service dog, yet even that relationship comes with stress.

I spent my life numbing emotions, avoiding them, seeking an easier flow. But now, the dam is about to break—like Vesuvius. And honestly, even remembering Vesuvius feels like a miracle.

The Path Forward

Sharing our stories—no matter how uncomfortable—helps us reclaim our truth. Moving from shame to acceptance isn’t just healing; it’s survival.

For me, this only became possible when I started remembering the experiences I had buried, allowing me to shift the narrative and connect with my true self—not the person others told me I was.

This is how we begin to restore our souls.

With love.

Karmic Rebelle

Today, my anxiety skyrocketed. I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown, drowning in overwhelming emotions. And then I noticed something—I was stuck on an old thought loop, replaying the ‘ring saga’ that I had already worked through.

The thoughts were sticky, pulling me back into emotions I thought I had let go of. But instead of spiralling, I caught myself. I reminded myself: We already worked through this, girl. It’s all good now. And just like that, the thoughts started to loosen their grip.

At first, I was resistant to acknowledging what was happening—I wasn’t fully aware of my rising anxiety. But then Radha stepped in. She could sense it before I could, and once I stopped resisting and let her do her thing, I started breathing deeply. From there, the process followed naturally.

I didn’t just stop there. I kept breathing deeply and consciously, giving my nervous system the signal to calm down. Then I went for a long walk—one of my go-to tools for resetting when my brain feels stuck. The combination of Radha’s support, reframing my thoughts, breathing, and moving my body worked together to bring me back to the present.

I still feel some anxiety, but the difference is that it’s just anxiety now—not a story attached to it. The sticky thoughts are gone. And that’s the win.

What I realized today is that it’s not just overthinking that keeps emotions alive—it’s our actual brain chemistry. For those of us with neurodivergent brains (BPD, ADHD, CPTSD, etc.), emotional processing works differently. Our brains tend to:

• Have an overactive amygdala, making emotions feel more intense.
• Have a weaker prefrontal cortex, making it harder to rationalize and shift focus.
• Hold onto emotional memories like they’re happening right now (thanks to a smaller hippocampus).
• Keep us stuck in high cortisol levels, making it harder to move on.

So if you ever wonder “Why can’t I just let this go?”—it’s not because you’re weak. It’s because your brain is wired to hold on. But the good news? You can train it to let go too.

Today showed me that healing isn’t about never feeling anxiety or never having intrusive thoughts. It’s about trusting myself to move through them—to remind myself that I’ve done the work, to breathe through the discomfort, and to take action that supports my nervous system.

So next time you feel stuck in a thought loop, try this: Pause & remind yourself what you’ve already worked through. Breathe deeply & consciously to activate your vagus nerve. Let your support system—whether a person or an animal—help you regulate. Move your body—walk, stretch, shake it out. Trust that emotions pass, and you don’t have to stay stuck.

Every time you do this, you’re proving to yourself that you can break the cycle. One win at a time.

Can you relate? What helps you shift out of an emotional spiral?

With love.

Karmic Rebelle

This year, something finally clicked.

I realised the root cause of my health issues—both physical and psychological—has always been a dysregulated nervous system. It’s wild to think I missed something so central for so long. The signs have been there for decades. But when you’re constantly just trying to survive, it’s easy to overlook the deeper patterns.

The turning point came during a particularly dark time. My PTSD, depression, and suicidal ideation were at extreme levels. For most of last year, I was unwell. And by unwell, I mean:

• persistent suicidal ideation
• barely eating
• leaving the house only for an hour a day
• extreme brain fog
• forgetfulness
• sadness, anger, physical pain

Then came the seasonal shift in London—from warm to cold. Every year, this transition hits hard. But this time, it broke me. I had a complete meltdown in a public park. The cold, the dread, the internal chaos—my body just couldn’t hold it anymore. My nervous system was on fire.

When you’re in that state, relaxing feels impossible. And I say that as someone who should know how. I’m a trained, qualified tantric yogini. I’ve spent years learning how to master my breath, body, and mind. And still—when my nervous system is dysregulated, no amount of stretching, meditating, or breathing brings me back down.

I’m not saying those practices don’t help—they do. In fact, they’re the only things (besides my assistance dog) that do help. But for lasting change, we need to go deeper. We need to go inside the mind and rewire from the roots.

So this year, I’ve committed to doing exactly that.

I’ve dived into somatic healing, nervous system regulation, and really getting to know my “disorders”—not as labels, but as signals, messages, roadmaps. I’ve got a stack of books, and I’ve pulled away from most people (again) to focus on healing.

To be fair, there weren’t many people left. But even those few relationships weren’t good for me. And thanks to the emotional intensity of BPD, the way those connections ended wasn’t exactly peaceful. But maybe that’s how certain chapters have to close—loud and final.

And now, some hope.

There’s a belief that the brain loses its ability to change as we age—that neuroplasticity fades.

That’s simply not true.

The brain always has the capacity to form new pathways. We’re never too old, too broken, or too far gone to heal.

Habits, behaviours, personalities—all stem from the routes our brain takes again and again. But we can change those routes. It takes work, but it’s possible.

Things that help:

• CBT
• DBT
• Mindfulness
• Yoga
• Meditation
• Breathwork
• Somatics

I’m deep in this journey right now. Reading, practising, observing. And I’ll be sharing what I learn along the way—honestly, openly, and in the hope that it helps someone else too.

You’re not alone. Your nervous system isn’t broken. And healing is always possible.

With love.

Karmic Rebelle

This piece is difficult to write, and it may be difficult to read — but it’s necessary.

It’s not just my story. It’s a mirror of what happens when trauma, disability, and systemic ignorance collide.

When I reported being raped, my diagnosis — Borderline Personality Disorder — was used against me by the very people who were meant to protect me.

The police made assumptions based on stigma, not fact. They dismissed my trauma because of a label.

They let a rapist walk free. And I was left to survive the consequences.

This is not just about BPD. It’s about what happens when mental health diagnoses become weapons — when neurodivergent people are disbelieved, discarded, and denied justice.

It’s about truth. And the cost of being seen as “too complicated” to protect.

If you’re someone who lives with BPD, ADHD, ASD, or CPTSD — I see you. If you’ve ever been disbelieved or dismissed because of your diagnosis — this is for you.

This is part of my story. And it is told in my voice, on my terms. Please read with care.

When the police interviewed me about the rape, one reason they didn’t believe me was my diagnosis: BPD. They had just googled the disability and made an ignorant, ill-informed judgment that was both discriminatory and harmful. They decided BPD meant I was inherently manipulative — a compulsive liar by default.

This is not the case with BPD. Compulsive lying is not a diagnostic criterion. When being diagnosed by medical professionals, this is what they actually look at:

Frantic Efforts to Avoid Abandonment

Individuals with BPD have a deep-seated fear of real or imagined abandonment, and they will go to great lengths to prevent it. It makes no sense to report a false rape if you’re terrified of being left alone. Reporting someone would mean losing them — not something someone with BPD seeks.

Also, about going through with the non-molestation order against my ex, leaving my husband, and finally filing for divorce — it wouldn’t make sense to lie about those things if it meant being alone in the end. The mistakes I made because of my disability were to stay in toxic and abusive relationships and not to report rape immediately. The police didn’t consider this.

Unstable and Intense Relationships

Highs and lows are a hallmark of BPD relationships. It still doesn’t equate to lying or making rape up.

Identity Disturbance

A persistent instability in self-image or sense of self is a hallmark of BPD. This characteristic is partly what makes it so easy for others to manipulate, coerce, and take advantage of me. This vulnerability is exactly why BPD qualifies as a disability under the Equality Act — because it makes people like me easier to manipulate and abuse. In my case, the reason I have an unstable sense of self is because of child sex abuse, verbal abuse, coercion, neglect, and narcissistic abuse over a lifetime.

Impulsivity

This must manifest in at least two areas and can include things like overspending, substance abuse, binge eating, and self-harm. At the time of the interview, I was heavily reliant on xxxx to help cope with emotions. xxxx helps to suppress and keep intense feelings at bay so I don’t have to experience or feel them.

They thought I was a heroin and crack user — because some arseholes from Isle of Dogs / Canary Wharf made a false report about me. And because the Hackney Sikh Rapist was trafficking heroin or opium — something I suspected and told the police — they assumed I was a user too.

They wouldn’t believe me when I said I’d never touched it. I’m incredibly triggered by my neighbours, especially because of this kind of false reporting — I was always kind and helpful, and insidious jealousy and feelings of superiority caused significant harm to me. It prevented me from getting the help and protection I needed, and in turn, I lost more years of my life.

And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Recurrent Suicidal Behaviour, Gestures, Threats, or Self-Mutilation

This is in response to perceived abandonment and the experience of emotional distress.

Affective Instability

The experience of frequent, rapid, and intense shifts in mood. These shifts can involve extreme emotions like anger, anxiety, or depression, and the intensity can be out of proportion to the situation. It’s difficult for me to self-regulate. Although I would argue that my anger is not always disproportionate to the problem — especially when it concerns persistent neglect on the part of the system.

Chronic Feelings of Emptiness

I don’t experience this at all.

Inappropriate, Intense Anger or Difficulty Controlling Anger

Yes, it happens. But it’s not a crime. It’s not a reason to disbelieve rape disclosures.

Transient Paranoid Ideation or Severe Dissociative Symptoms

As I’ve experienced more traumatic events repeatedly from childhood through to adulthood, I’ve experienced more moments of dissociation and a growing sense that others may harm me.

This is a tricky one because those feelings often manifest in reality, so it’s sometimes difficult to know what’s true and what’s not. Again, this makes me vulnerable to exploitation and further harm because I can be gaslit — which increases feelings of suspicion and dissociation.

So, as you can see, nowhere does it say that people with BPD are manipulative liars who use heroin, prostitute themselves, and lie about rape to get a free house from the council. That’s not a personality disorder — that’s a toxic myth.

Also, none of this includes characteristics from other neurodivergent conditions like ADHD, ASD, or complex PTSD.

From childhood, I found it challenging to lie. This is a marked characteristic of my personality, and I have many people to vouch for me on that point — from schoolteachers to parents and other family members.

So, in conclusion: the police dramatically failed me, and the result was significant harm and loss of life. A rapist and trafficker is still out there — free — after doing it before me, to me, and probably again after me.

So if you’re with someone who has BPD and compulsively lies? Sorry you got a shitty person — but that isn’t me.

I don’t lie. I did get raped. By that Sikh-Not-Sikh in Hackney.

The failure of the police to protect me then led me into the arms of another predator — again in the Sikh community — this time one posing as a good Satsangi and healer. And it’s impacted me dramatically.

The system has failed me and continues to fail people like me.

This doesn’t even begin to cover the diagnostic criteria and lived reality of ADHD, ASD, or complex PTSD. But I carry all of it. And I’m still here.

With love.

Karmic Rebelle